anybody else with good examples of punches? or elevation tips
Yeah give me some tips, pros
for this I will put your bar side by side with an experienced battler, in this case Ill nik a used the madden nameplay in LLL just the week before so it works perfectly to help you see what the differences are in the wording and how he targeted this concept.Originally Posted by soul purpose
first thing you notice, he started his setup punch with good multies that set the flow to his bar. It wasn't anything that stood out as crazy but it helped the transition into his second line by making it run smoothly, he probably didn't even take more then a few seconds to think of it so it feels more natural when you read it out laud. his second line used a cliche' line in, "pushing your buttons".. its a common phrase that he went for the flip on, there are a lot of ways that he could flip a phrase (the first way you find usually isn't the best because it may mean that its played, rewrite it multiple times till it feels as clever as possible). He finishes the thought with Ive been killing madn since sega genesis. In this case wording makes a difference, he didn't use "madden" as he knows that using his real name would make this read more personal. His approach was to use a cliché line with misdirection and a good simple flow that will appeal to most voters.Originally Posted by Ill Nik A
notes to take from this,
1.) take the off route, assume everything you are writing may have been done before and think of fresh ways to do them.
2.) think like a battler, not a writer.. is this punch that you are writing really tarring this kid down? why not? is the wording too soft, does it feel like it could misinterpreted as me complimenting him, could it be harsher by adding some name calling?
3.) How do you transition a line into the next line best, when is it ok NOT to have the setup line support the execution line?
4.) If I read a line out laud, does the wording feel stretched out or not long enough, are the syllable counts close or can I get away with slightly going away from the count for this punch.
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Forgot to mention he was battling madnkrazy
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You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!
just an example
You've been on a hiatus - but you didn't return that nice!
So when I'm rhyming with flare - I'll put 'Wine In The Air' like First Class Flights!
Decent flow. but if you're going to utilize and structure your bars in that format be careful w/ your syllables. Always make sure they match.
ABBA schemes aren't too popular, here for the most part. Everyone tends to just stick with the easier scheme, AAAA.