A Disciple's Thread

[NoNun2]

They hit me again

[NoNun2]

Some of my tattoo meanings changed too - wya?

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I just wanna get paid to write

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A white guy hit me again… he knew right where I was going too.. I’m sueing the fuck out my phone and roof

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Wasn’t awake just felt the black eye

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I heal quick a little make up and my moms heart wont be broken

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AGAIN

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Trying hard not to cry… they did it again.. they went another round

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I didn’t hear the gunshots again

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Yo if they start that again idgaf I’m killing EVERYBODY

[NoNun2]

I loved it, it made me smile the entire time

Someone hit me in the eye today

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Idk.. can we fix that? How they able to do that to me?

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Not going to lie it hurt he’s losing his empathy… he don’t give one fuck about me

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Literally have no one… he slept with all my friends

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Well I only had 2 but

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Same game Antony was playing

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I got confused cause it was peace and comfort

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I hate being by myself all the time

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It’s been a hard week

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But I can’t take the bait

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They won’t let me get back up

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She’s blocking my third eye I wasn’t ignoring you

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I heard from my gma too and that’s why she died hating me

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We can go tonight if you want lol

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I need money to support myself pac this is ridiculous they have all this money to torture me and fuck with my head and they expect my mom to pay for it too… how does that happen?

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I was mad at Nancy cause her friends were making fun of her at the beach and I stuck up for her then she turn around and wanna act hard with me

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She always started with me I even spit on her to make her throw the first punch - I see now I was really mad at other things

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Ced has to bleed a lot of anger

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Had to bleed*

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Had to*

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I think it was the funniest fight ever we were all swinging and missing until the bitch kicked me in my face lol

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I hoped from the car on her without even touching pavement - Jayme couldn’t stop laughing

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Good times I miss J

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She said that’s the Ho and pointed at us - just didn’t understand wtf her problem was - was it over you?

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Yeah it’s possible they knew I was firends with Jen then

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Idk how I didn’t though

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I don’t like and refuse to be on the side he is on

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I ain’t with that bitching shit

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Tired of it myself

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Humble what ever the fuck they wanna call it

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Yeah

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I give up on it anyway

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There’s no one for me cause you’re gone

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I don’t even want it it’s not worth it

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Money please

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They were making fun of me and humiliating and degrading me then making fun of me that I forgot or didn’t notice

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What type of task force is that? Who was doing that to me?

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And why?

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Cause I don’t want crack head Kevin

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My navigation would drive me in circles until I’d cry type shit too

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Or it would take me to houses like we pick houses

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It used to make me so mad

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And then to watch them do that to me… and not help? Are they even human?

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Never… more loyal then any man I met

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One day someone will check the hospital and police reports and believe me

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If it help the next FINE what ever… mental is dead wrong and fucked up

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NEVER

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When someone don’t like you and you push it repulses them even more - at least me

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I never ever led him to believe that at all

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Barely even knew him

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Why would I step out my time zone and be sick over someone that came in scheming from day 1 FOH

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Leave me aloe or watch your dope for real

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I won’t suffer for no one beaides my family

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Never did consider he never even was my bf type wtf

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No and give me my body and my god back please… my body not for sale or rent freaks

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Get out of me

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Only when Kevin and Melissa are around

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Did you see all the charges LMMFAO DAYUMNNNNNN

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We all shove the law… it just depends on whose paying type bitches

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Above* I just ignore them and let them type whatever

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Until I focus and get back control of my body

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It hard… the chains so heavy they drag me to the ground with no one even there sometimes

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Yup my own ghosts started to choke me too after i got shot idky either

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I got judged twice when I was raped in Myrtle beach was shackled to a chair fighting for my head and pinky all night

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How he victim get charged though?

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Them bitches need to get the fuck yo off me I never was in their circle

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I’m not their trash can either

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How did they get my freewill though?

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They all swear I want attention… cause I get none and I’m just like nah I’m different I want the money

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He even started talking shit if I wore lipstick I’m good

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I’m not letting myself go for no man

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Waiting for pac to come back a minute

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I have to thank the site for all they did for me to get better with more dignity lol

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I still say $9.99 a month though for the sky drive and scouters

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I personally can’t afford it yet but

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How would you feel if you got to heaven and didn’t even know your own life story cause a bunch of wack bitches took that from you and drs

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You flip the fuck our when you realize every nightmare was real and they defiled you while everyone watched but no one helped

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Did not speak to one officer about it either

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I stole my moms car when duff put the mattress over the window and had to go to mental… they didn’t think it was a good idea to tell me then either?

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I hate psych I would NEVER donate my life to it

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Now I only do to help the other ones out there like me

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I trusted my drs and they betrayed me too… who I ever betRay?

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Hollins or Solomon woke me up shaking their head no when I was telling the psych in the hospital

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It’s how they’d keep me more trapped like giving them the blueprint

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Low and behold I ain’t been insane in a minute now

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Don’t let them get my brain either

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Only about 25% of them care about us and they are mostly nurses

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Pac she’s ok… imagine a world without pac - she’d understand I think her parents already told her she’s adopted cause she was writing the rules to the game wishing for my birthdays back

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I just pray they didn’t crucify me in front of her

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I want to find her but I need for facts dates and hospitals or they’ll throw me back in mental

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How you have an entire baby and not know it type shit

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She was talking shit to Magic one day I think unless it was the shadow I got after being shot

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The atrophy is in my memory but my head hasn’t been shaved since idk how they do it just don’t let them do it anymore

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It makes me literally retarded

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They knew that too and didn’t care

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Low level salt dealers and all we’re doing it - how that happen?

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Over a man I never even wanted

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Change the best and do another one to easy on me

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Beat*

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You don’t know shit until you take a deep breathe now your head and make them swap soit

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Bow*

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While them bitches laughing?

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I assumed they were trying to give me aids thank god they didn’t but I still get scared every test

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I stayed with the people who weren’t like that but would get hit in between

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Just started running state to state and a few weeks later he’d catch up to me

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Every where I ran

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I need to know hes either dead or in jail

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Now that my hell mate is gone here we go again and I’m scared

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Why he punch me in the eye to even begin with I got a freaked out feeling

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What story were they feeding my father?

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Well I assume I got punched in the eye cause it’s almost black

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ThI fuck it is here we go again

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I don’t know how to sleep now I always laid on him

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I don’t want to go to bed or lay down

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Nah I don’t want him back either

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I thought you cosinged it pac that’s why… I’d never put someone over yoY but I can’t get to you either

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I’m so scared for us… I saw us all in hell.. find them!!!!!!

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I used to write fast like you too

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Why don’t they want me writing?

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A baby was my dream

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3 actually

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Pac it’s not your fault that you died or hid

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Every birthday wish since I was 15

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You get a little aggrevated when bitches get them and put them in danger

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Or try to sell them

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Over it… I have jicera

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He crosses me out though type wtf is he even doing here

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Where does he come from and how does he know

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I can’t tell the difference between insanity and death

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Nicki can slaughter somebody u underground I was surprised how good she is at gangster rap

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I always liked her

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That’s weird unstable pump wanna be bitched attached herself to me somehow and I can’t get her out of me

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Or the vulture

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It hurts he doesn’t care anymore so I’m trying not to too

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What it mean that I didn’t hear the shot again?

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Was it him?

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I thought I could trust what I feel

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Can’t even trust that

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They was shooting at me in the parking coming home and my b neighbor and duff ran out but I didn’t hear shit then either

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Why are they going to arrest her so I know I’m safe and she’s off of and out of me

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When are rhey*

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Sometimes it sucks when you can’t tell if you’re dead or alive

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If it’s god or the feds

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Etc etc etc

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What story did they feed you that you let them?

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Not me I only drove i haven’t sold weed since 99

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I’m all about legal money but nobody wanted a private club with me

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I’m too sick to run a salon - I’ll do it part time

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I waited to but don’t want to set my self up for the fail

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I can’t let people know that I’m happy or post that I’m happy cause then they hit me? He really said not to too

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But that’s exactly what happens

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Like the trying to be like us and trick me not realizing I’ve been us my entire life

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Fuck with my navigation again and I’m a freak out on someone

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Why pac doesn’t ghost like us though type weird I see him different

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I saw you as a ghost I used to do it to Ced when I was worried

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Disguised myself with red hair but I think he still knew

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Good thing I did though… she our put all the clothes in the oven and turned it on

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Nah I’m not going back to any of my friends they all disrespected me one way or the other

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How did someone as off as she is become my authority?

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Both them bitches for real

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He didn’t even leave me weed

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They won’t take no for an answer - as a matter of fact I rather be dead than to let them

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They even tried to do that sick shit and sell for me

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Praying they done fucked yo now

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Up*

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I ignore them cause I don’t want to share my body with them

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Or I scream at the top of my lungs JB the car

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Cool as fuck never hurt me

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The only one that ever tried to tell me

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Besides my dad giving clues

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And pac

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The first time me and Ced smoked a blunt for like the first time in months or years

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I thought it was the flu shot that did it

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My mom saw me tracing then read rheir confessions and got scared she also said cause I was sympathetic to Hussein LMFAO

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Took me to crises intervention

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Cause he admitted he fucked up to his people

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Obama got Bin Laden in 3 weeks b George’s and then they’re copter went down

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Hmmmm

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How else to motivate a country idfk

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I despise politics now too

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My dad and Ced was both in planes but my cheating ass bf actually flew in the day before

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I was freaked out and didn’t say a word until 7pm

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I stare too

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Most almost all my cousins in Cali I only got the hang wirh them for one week before

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I didn’t have the luxury of anyone but me having my back

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Why am I tied and who did it and why?

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Since the 90s Pac that diner fight I know why I couldn’t get out the booth now

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Because she’s evil and it feels gross

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He gross too I don’t deserve to feel gross in my own body no means no

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They won’t let me say no

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I gained so much fucking weight when that freak came around too

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Did you really try to change my body to fit YOU?

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I refuse to speak to the bitch in like a decade is she really still here?

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When am I free?

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It’s not even my side

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It’s not pac it’s Melissa and Kevin doing it

[NoNun2]

Why do we ghost different than Pac especially if I lost my virginity to him

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I’m tired of hearing her she doesn’t even have anything to be mad about… she was sleeping with everyone I did too

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I don’t understand the hate now but whatever someone shut her the fuck up it’s been years too

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I guess cause my environment and how I grew up I fall into abuse easy but my dad proof you can change

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After losing your diamond

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My bed isn’t actually that messy… it’s the first sign I’m sick

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My bed isn’t actually that messy… it’s the first sign I’m sick

Now that I know it’s possible - he punched me in the stomach and hit my head and did something that my eyes burned

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When I saw the pic he had

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When I saw the pic he had

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The yes no every time you think your finally safe again

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That’s the worst feeling

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And here we go again… WHY?!????

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He did send me to the arm once and said don’t check the account - I wish I did now

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He was mad generous

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Never complained about me being broke or buying me food and drink

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That was my bestie it hurt like hell

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I guess I have a lot of guy friends cause I don’t like drama

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I have a low tolerance for bitch shir and games

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I couldn’t believe it when I heard what happened I’m glad she’s at peace that must’ve been hell for her omfg

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Yes we really just friends… I really hated sex until my hell mate again

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I hoped they’d hop up on your shit too… not to be mean but I would laugh at them

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That shit hoarder to hear then his back then

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Don’t tell me I don’t want to slice

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I sliced when he said the thing about the winter jacket

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Like a stab it feel like only neon

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Like a light saber

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It slice right thru you and it feel like you wanna pass out

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It why I hated Rick Ross a second too - while jumbo slice - that’s horrible to do to people

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Kimbo*

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I never wanna be sliced again

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Was it you though that knew my team? How much per run do I get? Cause I was the one with the book bag and bridge

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And the bridge*

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Look white girl in the face and say this the last dance. It was the scariest movie I ever saw but now I know why I was so freaked out

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Yeah I used to dance that’s why I ran to 50

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Two jazz ballet

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Tap*

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“Moms bounced on old man so we moved to Chaplin land”

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I can’t even get thru to my brother on the candle

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That bitch blocking EVERYONE and it’s not fair

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I was too scared of everything

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But nyc night had fun lots

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And I was happy and straight in Norwalk

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I can serve how did who knew? Like tennis cause I miss and have to run a lot

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My dad sat on the course with me and lit a cigarette with me and he didn’t even smoke - I forget what we were talking about

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Court*

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I was upset

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He was faithful to visitations every other week

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Then he moved down south and it was once a year or if I got in trouble

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Maybe it’s why I hate the south

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He’ll nooo that’s not where I’m jumping back in I want to write

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Pac always took care of me one way or the other I think

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The why am I alive and have no record - say he didn’t give a fuck about me again

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Exhausted

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A low level runner no way you not watching me be tortured then come after a low level runner?

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I don’t know shit that was the 90s

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I just thought everybody had their part in music why would they be taking about me

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Never even been to Staten Island

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They have me scared of everything now again

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I even tried jumping over a broom stick myself

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He got deported

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Over bye

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Watching now… OMFG you did hear me huh

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Once a week for 4 years

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Can we do belly V

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I put a proposal on ig whoscaredcla919

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That for running

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I have hard time focusing so long but long story short BMF back on?

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I love the entire 50 cent series

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We’re me and 50 on the same team?

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Neviind I was obviously Rick Ross

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All I remember was a book

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No comment or opinion

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That money would be a GOD SEND how much should I pay back my moms

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I have to pay over hours at school too

[NoNun2]

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[NoNun2]

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Dayum it feel good as fuck to finally be out of statutes… I’m jumping back in with music and entertainment though… at least that’s my wish

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Heavy metal - I used to practice my toe dancing / ballet to this song



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I blessed to be really skilled as a secretary and didn’t have to anymore…

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“Went by the fork in the road and went straight”

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Almost got robbed or killed they never came in cause I dumped

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AND I paid them back to now realize they robbed us!!!!

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Almost 50 years old lol

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Very mentally ill… it’s part of the reason why I quit too

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I was blessed to be good at something legal too and it’s all I wish for everyone else but it doesn’t work that way unfortunately

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I want to be there for and motivate the next like music did for me

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My boss got deported then I broke up with my ex died inside jumped in the game again and came alive - it breathed life into me again. It suck’s to be good at something bad

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Illegal is not an option my nerves are too short but I want to write and get paid for that more than anything

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And hoping my old bosses pay me now cause I made it to retirement

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We’ve been dreaming of retirement since 2004

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Pay your relaxes donate to the police fraternities to be honest too

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Good karma

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Pay your taxes*

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I have a spirit infection I’m trying to get rid of

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They didn’t have masks on so they were intending for me to live either and it wasn’t the police ow they would’ve still came in

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Weren’t*

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Put my back the to the wall slid down it and cried

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I paid them back almost $30k

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It was our retirement

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Supposed to be anyway

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I think back to the time when we first met…
I remember every moment, I can never forget.

We fell in love that night, laying, staring at the sky
Who ever thought me and you would be the ones to say goodbye.

And at the time with all the things I was going through…
You just stole my diary, stole my heart, and made me part of you.

You introduced me to a life that helped me to find a way…
And from that moment on - every day for you I would pray.

Every struggle I felt, every hit I took with you,
But now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes the pain would take me to my knees…
I’d just look back up to the sky crying and begging the Lord please.

With you, I’d always compete.
I’d ask - you’d say no - I find it my way - then repeat.

It seems like we were so damn happy when we were building
But not everything that glitters is gold, it’s just gilding.

In the beginning, all the girls, I really and truly didn’t care.
Because those bitches didn’t have shit on us, and of that, I was well aware.

But then it, they, them, it all became too much…
I became jaded and my emotions became out of touch.

I have never been as much of a soldier, as I been, when it came to me and you…
With you by my side, there wasn’t a god damn drill I couldn’t get through.

I’d give my life for you, for this game, but it wasn’t ever returned…
How many times were you gonna sit back and watch as I got burned?

Even to this day, sometimes I forget who I am, without you…
But I know it’s not reciprocated so what was a girl supposed to do.

I called you when I saw them outside; I needed help, now I need to know why
You left me with the decision get robbed, go to jail, or die.

I chose to do the laundry because at least the decision was mine.
But I can’t believe of all people YOU were the one to put me on that line.

But I am not going to sit here and cry. Not one more fucking tear…
Cause with me and you gone, I swear to fucking god I have not left one more fucking fear.

They say once a good girls gone bad she is gone forever…
I say no, she’s just mad, or sad, and to be treated that way again – She just says no. Never!

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We were too young for rentals so we’d rent uhauls

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Can we get belly v? Will someone help us write it?

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“Bitces skipping scenes” then give 3 and 4 to somebody

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Let’s go back to where we once started

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And try again..

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I’m like 90% sure jicera was adopted by a Muslim family and praying he’s bringing my family back even if pac is ghost. But I could’ve sworn that I saw a pic of him in skinnies so I pray

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Exhausted

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Someone kicked my ass up and down the east coast and nobody will say who

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Me and my now ex bf but still hell mate cool again so I think I’m safe again

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LMMFAO

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Movie book I have so many ideas and it will be fun

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Where I’m from ����

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I’m not racist I don’t like racism - and no disrespect intended but I always say we help make them be pure breds

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No my family isn’t racist either

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I have a very large music family

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All eyes is about lessons and hopefully this is one too

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Spiritually it’s like as all grew up together

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I feel as though I’ve known pac spiritually since 5th grade because he knew my original oath I took in 5th grade to die for my child

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It was how he was trying to wake me up in mb2010

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I had no clue of nothing until I heard the 3 muffled bangs

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It was so overwhelming I went insane again

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I did miss you guys

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I couldn’t love pac more - he’s my angel still

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d now 10-15 years later after it was written. I never got to have kids and too old to now but I got to have shadows which are very much living… I don’t know how I feel yet. Not having kids was never even an option and what I wanted most so like… idk but I still wish these things for them and all the babies in my family. And if I did have a baby 1 week shy of 14

For My Unborn Child 2
I pray you never know the loss of a friend
Or the ones that are fake and just pretend
I pray you a heart to stick up for what is right
Even if that means an ass whooping in that fight
Never be afraid of a whisper in the night
Cause maybe that is God showing you the light
Fuck what the books written by man tells you
Would you be mad if a few religions I bestow you
Or just keep it catholic cause though I don’t agree
I can’t deny he’s always been there for me
And let me tell you now…
I want so bad for you too, to feel what its like when the angels carry you
But to put you in danger, do I have the courage to do?
I want you never to be scared if and when you look deep into his eyes
Cause people like us, sometimes we just recognize
And if you feel lost, just know these words are right here
No matter, what, no matter what, never you fear
Persevere
Sometimes life isn’t always what is seems
Never let them tell you, you can’t follow your dreams
You pick him out
He’s got to be real and he has to be strong
And he has to be able to admit when he’s wrong
Mommy is a little more than innocent
So he has to understand that when you are in bed some nights I wanna get bent
Family… that is one thing that is sooo important to me
And if possible, can I be the only babies mommy?
If not cool, because I know just what not to do by watching mine
In fact, mammy is a great role model too, she’ll show you the shine
I hope you have fun each and every day
Fuck those mother fuckers that say there is no time for play.
If I don’t ask, then please, please don’t tell
But you can always run to me if life feels like its got you under that spell
And if I ignore some shit, don’t act like that means that I don’t know
I hope we never but heads and to the realness we have to show
God I pray you are not a brat
I pray I always see the real you so I can change that
I hope your Daddy is such a man that is something for which you aspire to be
And he is just as dedicated to you, as I am, to our family.

And you don’t have to cry wolf
He’s here, he’s near you
This why I want you to know they should fear you
Revere you

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Because i lied about my age when i lost my virginity to him and got pegnant

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I think my psychs brain washed me cause nah I didn’t remember but it’s for facts

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Broke and still getting my ass kicked I need to function

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I need money to secure myself too

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“Went back to knock offs that pusha T didn’t think I’d do”

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My religion is angels like spirits or ghosts

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I had a good role model my mom left with just her jewelry and car

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The better I do the madder they get and I’m just trying to figure out why

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Him



“May we each walk the paths we have chosen”

Lord, we both know the only reason why I came back home
It took many brethren to rescue me, please let me face it alone if I roam
Just how heavy the stakes were I didn’t realize
Who I became when I left I could hardly recognize
But I started to see it…
I believed their book and who I was, was wrong
Now that I ran I don’t know where it is I belong
Too scared to be betrayed but the betrayal came from me
Can you understand if I never left I never would truly see

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN I WHO COMMANDED YOU

WHAT DID I SAY
It’s in my heart stay true

WHAT DID YOU DO
Became too scared to even talk to you

WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN
My family go to all lengths to make me see

WHAT DO YOU WANT
To finish our plan and live out my destiny

LIKE YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER YOU WERE TORN BETWEEN THE TWO IF YOU CANT MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL HOW DO YOU EXPECT THEM TOO

I forgive and I love because I understand what the making of peace that they dream of
But they call us demons because we fight for the darkest of knights
And because we disagree with them, they with withstand our rights
While living with you I was allowed to be real
While living with them I began not to feel
All they did was try to down their brother
Even I was wrong, mad, because she didn’t chose work over being a mother
He stole my soul, the core being of everything I believe in
Even told me to send you away and deny my own gift I was given

THALL SHALL NOT STEAL
but I was so thirsty and no one would help me

THALL SHALL NOT MURDER
I only wanted to stop them from humiliating me

THALL SHALL NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VEIN EVERY ENEMY IS A DEMON IN SOMEONE ELSES GAME

Lord I was wrong , but thru the fog I knew the difference between the two
And if you must take my pinky or head by the sword I honor that too
BUT PLEASE ONLY YOU
I am no longer afraid to stand true to who I am
No longer afraid to fight cause I believe in for what we stand
I don’t want to take for granted that you will just forgive me
But please try to realize how complicated this was to see

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (pride)
Vanity isn’t wrong if it makes you feel good

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (envy)
Jealousy only inspires as it should

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (wrath)
Sometimes we need that fire to motivate us to fight for what is right

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (sloth)
Be compassionate to those that are slower than others

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (greed)
Aspire to want plenty so we can share with our brothers

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (gluttony)
Sometimes it takes going too far to turn us off so we back away

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED (lust)
What’s life if not lived passionately

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED?
To my own heart be true… and that my life only exists to serve you

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Our daughter is Muslim so I am a mushrik that respects both

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Yeah they really found PACs crazy babies mom… and then tortured her

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Proof that PACs here even if it’s in spirit

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Stupid bitches should’ve listened to biggie when he said “we just trying to win trying NOT to sin”

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I would NEVER put someone’s tooth brush in the toilet that’s gross disrespectful and evil as fuck

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No I’m trying to get paid and then paid more

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And get my rites back religious and legal

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I served

[NoNun2]

A little harsh pac… I think people have me ready wrong

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Read*

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Made it thru the war but I can’t trust anybody but pac and 50 and biggie

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I think it’s a fucking miracle if pac really found Jicera

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I started seeing a lot of Miracles and got scared too

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They used ro have me park in front of the convent

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I’d talk ro God the entire time waiting and some runs I held my crucifix all the way home

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We were alll young without a lot of options

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I worked at a gas station at night… and one night was mopping floors thinking do you have a dead end job laughing next thing I know I ace a computer test by luck and get into ibm

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DRAFT that’s just brainstorming

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I was jay Z

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The bodega part

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Getting mad as fuck

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But now I’m so cold I don’t pop off anymore I go cold

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And stare

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It’s way more calculated

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Only if it’s PAC get them out of me

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OOL TAF but they attacking me already

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No comment or opinion them down south boys bout it and if scares me



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It’s crazy how people so quick to assume and judge without thinking about what if it was you

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I hate that people hate me for no reason but this bitch about to cry

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I despise magic I usually only deal with the real

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But nobody even hit them I want my body back I’m not their slave

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Yes pac… jungle please cause I trust you

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Yes fifth that’s the fight right there I’m not the Amtrak but this bitch won’t stop demanding - yes pac I agree strike

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She’s physically bullying me

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Religiously too

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How the fuck?

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Yes pac that’s Myrtle beach too

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I’m got a migraine I’m a try to sleep.. in my face

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Commenting wrong with the bitch she just want our life to be centeeed around her and she’s got away with that too long already

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My body not for rent or sale

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Never was or will be

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Pac was that taken from me? Yes jungle please and I pray

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“Let us pray” in my x voice

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They’re hurting me again… you see my eye

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They think my hellmate gone

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And pac ain’t real

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Honeslty… I want them dropped and judged cause they took my defense too

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For what reason? It’s annoying as fuck them bjfches petty as fuck

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ALL OF THEM

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My mom made lemon chicken yumm I might eat to ignore them

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It’s very painful though pac

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Yes 59 lol pac got that one too…

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My old friends detached us and are still playing

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And some bitches I never even met before

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Don’t forget the dope head too pac