User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Romancing the colorless

  1. #1
    Who is mysterion? Mysterion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    103
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Romancing the colorless

    Romancing the Colorless

    Remember the holes in your face:

    gazing into water mirrors
    at what has become death,
    in colors of the rainbow –

    and the rain killed the color—

    washed out colors of painted lives,
    faded like restaurant napkins
    or a horrible vision of an empty kaleidoscope.

    And when I screamed my head caved in,
    making me the vision of a
    crumbling flat-faced princess,
    with death metal emblazed
    under her eyelids.

    Grey fingers lace tightly
    around dreams of fuchsia and gold,
    as we spit on the colors;
    glossy salvia washes black into the eyes of the sun.

    Raining on black and white pastel pictures—
    the distasteful silhouette of a crisp grey scene.

    Falling white roses,

    the last color on earth.

  2. #2
    Who is mysterion? Mysterion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    103
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    links ar' comin'

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Shotty Fullclip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    51

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    I actually enjoyed this poem and it amazed
    me... And now everytime I look in the mirror
    I'll be seeing dead people washing away with
    color. But I guess thats better than screaming
    cuz i've turned into some zombie of some sort.
    But overall i'd give this poem a 8.8... Wait maybe
    a 8.9 cuz the similie in it... I really enjoyed this and
    I hope I read more from you, soon...

  4. #4
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    32
    Posts
    6,559
    Battle Record
    41-9
    Awards 25+ Wins

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    If this is Dagel I'm gonna kill you! This was actually a pretty good waltz my man, I liked it... The vocabulary was pretty basic but the napkin simile was pretty good. I appreciate your style homes, I hope to see you progress and get a little abstract jiggy with it.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    Who is mysterion? Mysterion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    103
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    nah,nahmeanz?

    thanks for the feed.

  6. #6
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    Nice, yeah, simple but it had a nice tone to it and kept flowing all the way through with well placed wording... content wise it was strong and didn't really need any drastic changes at all. Basic but smetimes its better to it simple and still get the desired effect. cool piece.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  7. #7
    Who is mysterion? Mysterion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    103
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    cool. thanks.

  8. #8
    .Get Retarded. Floyd Powell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Age
    39
    Posts
    221
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Romancing the colorless

    yeah i really liked this drop, man.. im into dark poerty like this.
    it flowed nicely and stayed strong the whole way through it.
    you had good usage of vocabulary. keep on writin', man..
    you have alot of talent.

Similar Threads

  1. Life Seems Colorless At Times..
    By H.R. Paperstacks in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: February 12th, 2007, 12:44 PM
  2. battle: tha kid casper vs colorless
    By tha_kid_casper in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: September 4th, 2006, 09:40 PM
  3. Romancing Razorblades
    By prodigal_prophet in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 8th, 2005, 09:24 PM
  4. Romancing Razorblades
    By prophacyz in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: March 12th, 2004, 08:04 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •