Keystyle Cypher!

So is the Messiah, so many messiah's passing through...
Christian beliefs marred by the same beliefs of the Catholic roots...
I wake up to the hums of the chapel hues...
Realize I face damnation, no matter which path I choose...
Brain warped, like Triple H vs Curtis Axel...
The inferno, on top of the burning castle...
Burn through the same currency when you earn a cashflow... become hedonistic...
Chase money 'cause it begets an equity balance, to be specific.
Flowed 'till I drowned myself in my sorrows, to be Pacific...
Misery loves company - tell that bitch she can keep her distance...
Hated myself - took a long time to fall in love wit' my flaws....
I get external validation from the applause
I went for it much like a nomad, seeking their path through a fog of smoke...
Couldn't see through the vision, 'till it was thick enough to clog my throat...
See the Vision like Maximoff... Agnostic beliefs, while rocking a catholic cross.
The cup runneth over, into my afterthoughts...
Stomach turns, hearing the ping off of my ex's Apple watch
She told me she'd do it, but didn't when I had her pass, unlocked...
I guess that's what loyalty is... when you destroy them n' they stick to you, still..
To let you know this is for real... to let you know this is until...
You ROTTING, inside of your grave...
You didn't show up when she needed, so you try to be brave...
She was loyal to you, but somewhere along the lines your alliances, swayed...
Going back and forth, fighting for days...
Like UFC guys, inside of a cage.
It's a cruel world... it's almost like you made it to be...
I'm stuck inside a matrix, 'need to find me a way to be free...
Don't believe the hype... see how I'm breathing life in whatever I read and write
Heavy toll got me feeling light...
Dealt with vitriol, so how could you expect me to be polite?
Especially when I perceive your slight's directed at me, despite...
Not being deserving of it?
Hate's an ugly word, yet I'm still learning from it.
Knowing somebody's out there, preserving judgement.
Besides, I don't believe what I say is winning any beauty pageants...
You do whatever you do to grab it...
Persistent shock value, constantly moving you, to the static...
Saw her sob, uncontrollably.
So, I consoled her n' I told her to breathe.
For only a moment, of peace.
Holding her briefly close, a tear rolls to her cheek.
Hear her as she's going to speak... slowly, but each...
syllable becomes an emotional screech...
I'm suppose to be this emotional boulder she needs...
to hold her, but geez... I feel broken, to pieces.
She rests on my shoulder n' leaves it soaking
as I roll up my sleeves, holding this Kleenex.
"I know that you need this"...
My voice cracks, in a moment of weakness.
Snatch victory from the hold of defeat, which...
Is the momentum this emotional rollercoaster proceeds with
Aware of what I did, but if I say it, it becomes real.
Numb of the affect it had on me, n' I'm numb, still.
Leave a hole inside of my soul, the size of a tambourine.
So, I escape to a dream world, where my reality can't be seen...
Brain fried from turmoil n' grief...
Trip the timeline, go back to when I enjoyed my peace.
Remember how eating habits destroyed my sleep
Wake up coughing, with a burning inside of my throat...
Tired, feeling so fired up that I can just blow
And take the world with me. Guess I will, when it's my time to go
Doubt I'll regret it if it happened. I won't show...
a lick of empathy. Sometimes I'm so desensitized by it all it hits me, mentally.
But then I remember that, it, eventually...
Subsides... I go down a Spiral that'd make 'Rock, blush.
Until I get a whiff of energy, to lift the seven seas...
Willpower is a worthy revelation...
A testament far greater than its journey's destination.